'twas nice in Liverpool, though that can't alleviate the way everything is falling down around me.
The only thing worse than spending a day on the verge of tears is being so ashamed of it that you hide them.
To prevent being perceived as pathetic.
Scratch that.
Perceived as more pathetic
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Monday can be summed up quite simply. It was essentially a day of ffffffuuuuuuuu
Every little thing served as a reminder of some more work I had to do.
"So I've done a conclusion...*my brain goes: "I have to do a conclusion too?! ffffffffuuuuuu"*....and an evaluation...*my brain goes: "I have to do an evaluation too?! ffffffffuuuuuu"*....etc."
By the end of it it was spinning in little circles, bouncing off everything and getting rather worried, so much so I felt rather ill.
And I came out of it into Tuesday like a man coming out of an explosion. Stunned, blinded and slightly light-headed. Actually, I feel more like somebody who just did a Javelin fail, but that's besides the point.
2 not particularly nice days.
Every little thing served as a reminder of some more work I had to do.
"So I've done a conclusion...*my brain goes: "I have to do a conclusion too?! ffffffffuuuuuu"*....and an evaluation...*my brain goes: "I have to do an evaluation too?! ffffffffuuuuuu"*....etc."
By the end of it it was spinning in little circles, bouncing off everything and getting rather worried, so much so I felt rather ill.
And I came out of it into Tuesday like a man coming out of an explosion. Stunned, blinded and slightly light-headed. Actually, I feel more like somebody who just did a Javelin fail, but that's besides the point.
2 not particularly nice days.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Sunday, 21st February 2010
I didn't do what I was supposed to do today, but instead just tucked my legs in and went with the flow.
I allowed myself to be pushed around, being taken away to do as others wanted me to. I didn't take root and fight this, just floated on and on and on.
I was dragged to help create my parents silly video and then I didn't resist being taken downstairs to entertain Angus who once again came round for no particular reason before just floating off to play LAN with Ian.
All through that I neglected the important things, those that really matter. I refused to do what I wanted to do, what I should have done. I didn't make a stand for the things that mattered; work, friends & Evelyn.
The things I cared about got stuck at the bottom of the pile because I was too weak to stand up to the forces of the family. I am terrified of revision, for if I cannot put my foot down for something as important as finishing coursework, what chance do I have of getting any decent revision done.
But the meta-image isn't the worst. I am filled with remorse at neglecting people.
College lasts for 2 years, uni 4; but the bonds I make here with, as much as I may tease them otherwise, brilliant people will last a lifetime.
Unless my weakness drives them all away.
I allowed myself to be pushed around, being taken away to do as others wanted me to. I didn't take root and fight this, just floated on and on and on.
I was dragged to help create my parents silly video and then I didn't resist being taken downstairs to entertain Angus who once again came round for no particular reason before just floating off to play LAN with Ian.
All through that I neglected the important things, those that really matter. I refused to do what I wanted to do, what I should have done. I didn't make a stand for the things that mattered; work, friends & Evelyn.
The things I cared about got stuck at the bottom of the pile because I was too weak to stand up to the forces of the family. I am terrified of revision, for if I cannot put my foot down for something as important as finishing coursework, what chance do I have of getting any decent revision done.
But the meta-image isn't the worst. I am filled with remorse at neglecting people.
College lasts for 2 years, uni 4; but the bonds I make here with, as much as I may tease them otherwise, brilliant people will last a lifetime.
Unless my weakness drives them all away.
The calm before the storm
You know the feeling you get when you just know that your life is about to turn upside down and all sorts of bad stuff is about to happen.
When you feel that no matter how bad right now is, you'll be wishing you could return to it soon, hold back onto the hopes and dreams soon to be shattered.
It's the calm before the storm.
And the storm won't be the dark part before dawn, the clouds that carry the silver lining.
It will be dark, scary and the end of my fragile little world.
I have that feeling in bucket loads.
Very distracting from psychology coursework.
When you feel that no matter how bad right now is, you'll be wishing you could return to it soon, hold back onto the hopes and dreams soon to be shattered.
It's the calm before the storm.
And the storm won't be the dark part before dawn, the clouds that carry the silver lining.
It will be dark, scary and the end of my fragile little world.
I have that feeling in bucket loads.
Very distracting from psychology coursework.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Darren
For the benefit of iliterate sorts, here is the description of heaven from Revelation 4 in pictures
LIKE A PICTURE BOOK ^^
Clicky for the under 5s
LIKE A PICTURE BOOK ^^
Clicky for the under 5s
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
[insert witty title here]
Following a conversation after re:action I decided to look up the Biblical description of heaven.
I didn't much care for it.
I didn't much care for it.
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