I see what you did thar

Emotionally involved

Maybe it was the music (not the best I've heard, but fitted in nicely) or the fact I'd spent 30 hours getting to know these characters; or perhaps because I knew that some (including the protagonist) could die, but I got very involved in the finale of Mass Effect 2.

I was actually holding my breath when Shepard jumped into the ship at the end.

Getting there & Escaping from there


On my first try 3 of my team mates perished, I was very sad.

Unknown

I, probably like most people, dislike the unknown.

Whilst I don't demand omniscience, having some bearing would be nice.

Currently, I do not.

There is a long list of things which I normally know that I don't at the moment.

I'm flailing in the darkness and don't like it one bit.

Firstly: how I feel. I have no idea what it is, I can't describe it nor label it. I can't decide whether it is good or bad, whether I should be feeling it and how to remove these feelings. The best description I can come up with is a constant cycling between disconnected happiness and an unquenchable rage. And that is severely lacking.

On top of that I don't know where I'm going, what I should do...just everything I had got in a vague order has come toppling down, leaving me without a clue.

New playlist

I have a new playlist on a nice loop. It goes:

Honest Goodbye
I am the Satellite
Here I go again on my own

In that order.

I want this song at my funeral

Yeah...embedded, bitches.

It's so lonely out in space

Click here.

In the little media player find "I am the satellite"

On and off, this song represents a growing feeling I have.

At least at home.

Especially after the event salad of last week, I realise that outside of home there are some wonderful people I have near.

Copypastea for referencea

4 Step Proof for God (4SPFG), 4 Step Minimal Facts Approach (4SMFA), and Observe TAO4C

Notice the non-Christian (a) shuts his mind down, (b) misreads the Bible, (c) avoids dealing with and is (d) unable to disprove the 4 Step Proof for God or the Minimal Facts Approach which, therefore, remain unchallenged. To them we say, "In the name of Jesus Christ, whom ye crucified, whom God raised from the dead in none other is there salvation: for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, wherein we must be saved" (Acts 4.10,12). May you experience the love and joy and peace of God completely proving His existence as shown in the Perfect Proof for God and the Minimal Facts Approach. These prove the resurrection of Jesus and that He is God. If you choose to refuse the forgiveness of the salvation of Christ on the cross, you will be resurrected for Hell. Jesus said, "I assure you, those who listen to my message and believe in God who sent me have eternal life. They will never be condemned for their sins, but they have already passed from death into life" (John 5.24) which implies some shall be condemned and eternally separated from God.

4 Step Perfect Proof for God of the Bible (4SPFG)

1. Exponential progression of conscience (see evidence of) disallows an eternity of the past of cause and effects in the natural realm since the human race would not still be sinning to the extent it still does. Therefore, the Uncreated (always existing) created who is God of the Bible only since none can compare to Christ (by proof of resurrection using the Minimal Facts Approach).

2. The preponderance of evidence (trillions+), beyond of reasonable doubt, of cause and effects tell us nothing in the universe is without a cause, otherwise you would have to be God to know if God exists, and obviously, you are not God. It is not necessary to know everything to know if God exists due to overwhelming evidence. Therefore, the Uncreated must exist Who created, the only known available possibility Who is God of the Bible since none can compare to Christ. "Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth" (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, author of Sherlock Homes). "If all known possibilities are impossible, what we had deemed impossible must be true" (Spock on Star Trek).

3. Don't argue against a quality of some god that is not the nature of God of the Bible, otherwise you are arguing not against God of the Bible but something else. (It is necessary to point this out because the problem of misreading the Bible happens so often.)

4. Exponential progression of conscience disallows the eternity of the past of cause and effects in the supernatural if it exists (the supernatural was proven to exist in Step 1 and 2) since people would not still be sinning as much as they do now. Therefore, the uncreated Creator created who is God of the Bible because none can compare to Christ (by comparison).

4 Step Minimal Facts Approach, Proving the Resurrection of Jesus and that He is God (4SMFA)

1. Without assuming Biblical inerrancy, where does the evidence lead us? 95 to 99.9% of skeptical scholars who do their thesis work, are accredited and have peer review journal work done on the resurrection in the past half century (we know this because we counted them-see Gary R. Habermas) agree Paul really wrote and really believed what he wrote in 1 Cor. 15 and Gal. 1 & 2.

2. In these 3 chapters, Paul said he met with Peter, James (brother of Jesus) and John on several occasions in which the first meeting was with Peter and James within 5 years of Jesus' death on the cross, and they all agreed to the reason for being the eyewitnesses, in various group settings, to the bodily resurrection of Jesus.

3. People do not willingly die for something they know is a lie or a lie they made up themselves, nor do they willing go to their deaths as martyrs if they don't believe in what they are doing. (Church fathers report the eyewitnesses whom they personally knew some of, were put to death for claiming they saw Jesus resurrected, worshiping Him as God and claiming the only way to be saved was through Jesus.) The apostles really believed they saw, talked with, touched, walked with and ate with the resurrected Jesus, in various group settings given in Scripture, which convinced them He is God and so became bold proclaimers when before they were doubters. Substantial evidence in Scripture testifies to this fact. The Bible is the proof and is allowed to prove something.

4. If no naturalistic theory can account for the claim of witnessing the bodily resurrection of Jesus, then it must be true they saw Jesus resurrected, for no other possibility exists in nature or human psychology that fits the data which shows He created us, He is uncreated and salvation is through Him. Since this is not something so complicated the world can't understand it like some aspects of quantum mechanics, a naturalistic explanation should be relatively easy to devise, yet none exist even after all this time to meet the data that skeptical scholars are virtually unanimous on. There is a time to reserve judgment and a time to give into overwhelming evidence. Therefore, we are without excuse.

Thus, Hell would be needed for the unsaved to keep them eternally separated from God's own people. Our prayers go out to those who are unwilling to repent and believe in Christ to be regenerated: to come to the cross as helpless sinners to receive the Lord Jesus as Savior.

http://www3.telus.net/trbrooks/perfectproof.htm

http://biblocality.com/forums/showthread.php?3228-4-Step-Proof-for-God-Minimal-Facts-Approach&p=4195#post4195

Wednesday

'twas nice in Liverpool, though that can't alleviate the way everything is falling down around me.

The only thing worse than spending a day on the verge of tears is being so ashamed of it that you hide them.

To prevent being perceived as pathetic.

Scratch that.

Perceived as more pathetic

Monday can be summed up quite simply. It was essentially a day of ffffffuuuuuuuu

Every little thing served as a reminder of some more work I had to do.

"So I've done a conclusion...*my brain goes: "I have to do a conclusion too?! ffffffffuuuuuu"*....and an evaluation...*my brain goes: "I have to do an evaluation too?! ffffffffuuuuuu"*....etc."

By the end of it it was spinning in little circles, bouncing off everything and getting rather worried, so much so I felt rather ill.

And I came out of it into Tuesday like a man coming out of an explosion. Stunned, blinded and slightly light-headed. Actually, I feel more like somebody who just did a Javelin fail, but that's besides the point.

2 not particularly nice days.

Sunday, 21st February 2010

I didn't do what I was supposed to do today, but instead just tucked my legs in and went with the flow.

I allowed myself to be pushed around, being taken away to do as others wanted me to. I didn't take root and fight this, just floated on and on and on.

I was dragged to help create my parents silly video and then I didn't resist being taken downstairs to entertain Angus who once again came round for no particular reason before just floating off to play LAN with Ian.

All through that I neglected the important things, those that really matter. I refused to do what I wanted to do, what I should have done. I didn't make a stand for the things that mattered; work, friends & Evelyn.

The things I cared about got stuck at the bottom of the pile because I was too weak to stand up to the forces of the family. I am terrified of revision, for if I cannot put my foot down for something as important as finishing coursework, what chance do I have of getting any decent revision done.

But the meta-image isn't the worst. I am filled with remorse at neglecting people.

College lasts for 2 years, uni 4; but the bonds I make here with, as much as I may tease them otherwise, brilliant people will last a lifetime.

Unless my weakness drives them all away.

The calm before the storm

You know the feeling you get when you just know that your life is about to turn upside down and all sorts of bad stuff is about to happen.

When you feel that no matter how bad right now is, you'll be wishing you could return to it soon, hold back onto the hopes and dreams soon to be shattered.

It's the calm before the storm.

And the storm won't be the dark part before dawn, the clouds that carry the silver lining.

It will be dark, scary and the end of my fragile little world.

I have that feeling in bucket loads.

Very distracting from psychology coursework.

Darren

For the benefit of iliterate sorts, here is the description of heaven from Revelation 4 in pictures

LIKE A PICTURE BOOK ^^

Clicky for the under 5s

[insert witty title here]

Following a conversation after re:action I decided to look up the Biblical description of heaven.

I didn't much care for it.

Wednesday in pictures

The Selfish Gene

Richard Dawkins' book "The Selfish Gene" is what I'm reading at the moment. It certainly has hyped itself up a lot, with the foreword warning that previous readers have been brought to tears (and not in a good way) and depressed. Some places have banned it because of the purposeless it promotes.

It's also the book that is responsible for the deconversion of Douglas Adams, one of my heroes. Being dead he can be a hero. I'm not going to meet him IRL and find out he's a total bastard, thus destroying my image of him.

I must say that it's an interesting, thought out and convincing argument for looking at life from a different point of view. It isn't a new idea or theory, but a new way of looking at an existing theory: from the point of view of the genes.

It's not too much dense science, but keeps it interesting and lively whilst putting across some rather difficult topics. A feat not achieved since I read "Quantum Physics Cannot Hurt You."

The other notable feature is that it included a "purpose of life" segment, rather similar to the one I posted a few weeks ago.

Coincidental? I think not. Dawkins clearly travelled from the '60s (I think that's when it was written) and poached my idea.

Rather good so far.

with a mace!

Coming of Age, probably one of the crudest shows on TV, was back in form last night.

Although I'm still not happy with Matt being changed to some idiot (he was much better in the first one when he had some intelligence [about 0:50]), this episode was of a very good standard.

The first two of the new series were a bit meh, but this one had me loling very much. In particularly, the inclusion of "with a mace!" after sentences.

"But then you'll leave me....with a a mace!"

--------------------
Also, I saw Charlie Brooker's Newswipe. It basically examines the news coverage of the week and in a no nonsense way. This show is cynical brilliance and I highly recommend it to you all. Last week featured a rather nice segment about the snow.

--------------------
There was also the "9 lessons and carols for godless people." It took a little while to get going (although no fault of the acts, I think they were just a bit poorly scheduled. Starting with a lecture wasn't the way to go) and act 3 was a bit crap, but otherwise it was largely enjoyable. Nothing outstanding, just enjoyable.

It was at its best when it diversified into other sceptical topics, taking a swipe at homeopathy, the bible code, crystal healing etc. and at its worst during act 3 which, as far as I can tell, seems to some form of pan-show trolling. Either that or the guy can't believe he can say this stuff without being burnt at the stake and so is trying to be as outrageous as possilbe. Either way it was a bit meh, just stating what they already knew

But if finished with an excellent song which had the hold crowd screaming at the top of their voice "peace and quiet" [about 3:50]

The full line up was:
Robin Ince, Richard Dawkins, Brian Cox, Mark Steel, Richard Herring, Shappi Khorsandi, Ben Goldacre, Simon Singh, Barry Cryer and Ronnie Golden, Robyn Hitchcock, Jim Bob and Baba Brinkman

AiG

Hate is a particularly strong word but in the case of Answers in Genesis, it is apt. I truly despise that group for several reasons, all of which combine into one lump of hate.

And the feeling is more than mutual. After taking $20 million in donations by whipping up a fuss over the "evils" of evolution they built a creation 'museum.' The money from this they then spend on a public campaign against atheism. It's not against the idea but the people. It's a personal attack.

Ya'all can call me El if you want

I can empathise with Ellis. Perhaps not his Southern stereotype, but the role of the team he fits into.

He is no experienced, super-cool dude that has some back story creating a hard-as-nails kick-ass character.

He's just a bloke who got swept up in things, carried along and found himself in an extraordinary position with people who are better than him in every conceivable way.

He carries no weight with them because he has no inherrent qualities of leadership or respect and even if he did, his companions are greater. This is demonstrated by his introduction:

"My name's Ellis but some people call me El. I prefer Ellis though 'cuz El kinda
sounds like a girls name. But ya'all can call me El if you want"

Because he is on the bottom rung he doesn't try to dictate their actions because he knows he cannot. He is simply a worm being carried along with them.

He also has a naivety about the world, not quite viewing things in the way they should be but with a tint more often associated with a child. The rose coloured hue of a kid's eyes.

"Man, it's like we bought the [theme] park for ourselves! Ya'know,
that was the first thing I was going to do if I won the lottery"

Ah well, I suppose I'm not like him to the extent that I'm not surviving a zombie apocolyspse.

But one can always dream....

I am RAGE!

Long story short, a new equality bill protecting homosexuals* from discrimination in the workplace** has made certain groups who want to discriminate angry.

Specifically, the church. They are worried that their "rights" will be ignored if they can no longer be bigoted homophobes.

Those who want to continue to be twats (including the 5th highest ranking Anglican) are asking for a "conscience clause" that would allow people to continue to discriminate if it's what they believed***

My views on the legislation were summed up nicely by one of it's proponents:

“While the Equality Bill maintains everyone's right to express in a legitimate manner both religious and non-religious beliefs, it is only right that people employed by commercial and publicly funded organisations are not allowed to discriminate on any grounds, no matter what their private belief.”

They're still allowed to hire and fire as the fuckwits want at churches etc. but no, they want to be able to discriminate in the wider public as well.

Well no. Your rights end where other's begins and you don't get to go around oppressing minorities just because you believe it, no matter how firmly. Your beliefs don't render you immune to decent society and it's laws.

It makes me so mad. All of it. The fact such bigots exist. The fact that they want exception to the law so they can continue their bigotry.

Please, GTFO my country



-------------------

*amongst others, but it's the gays which are causing the problem so it's those I'll be using as an example

**and not the free-speech eroding 'hate speech' legislation I don't like, but proper, "you can't fire somebody because they are gay" legislation

***which would be the people who discriminate in the first place rendering the bill pointless.

And a big middle finger to you too

I'm getting sick and tired of the world's constant attempts to emasculate me.

Asshat extraordinary

(CNN) -- Pat Robertson, the evangelical Christian who once suggested God was punishing Americans with Hurricane Katrina, says a "pact to the devil" brought on the devastating earthquake in Haiti.

Officials fear more than 100,000 people have died as a result of Tuesday's 7.0-magnitude earthquake in Haiti.

Robertson, the host of the "700 Club," blamed the tragedy on something that "happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it."

The Haitians "were under the heel of the French. You know, Napoleon III and whatever," Robertson said on his broadcast Wednesday. "And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, 'We will serve you if you will get us free from the French.' True story. And so, the devil said, 'OK, it's a deal.' "

Native Haitians defeated French colonists in 1804 and declared independence.

42

(life fail if title reference passes you by)

Mediations from a lonely walk home:

Life carries no inherent purpose. Like language, there is no built in meaning or point.

When you speak, it is the cognitive ability of you and those around you which lend meaning to the sounds you make.

It is this cognitive ability which allows us to saddle our existence with a purpose. We decide and craft a point to our lives, lend it hope and meaning.

Because lacking an inherent purpose does not make it purposeless, but rather, gives rise to one of the greatest parts of the human experience. The discovery and forging of our own destiny.

To those who have truly awakened to the universe our life can be assigned to a purpose we see fit.

We are presented with blank canvas on which to craft a masterpiece.

And even the smallest speck of paint has ramifications far beyond the ken of humanity. The simplest action changes the very fabric of reality.

Only you can create a change for the better.