I didn't do what I was supposed to do today, but instead just tucked my legs in and went with the flow.
I allowed myself to be pushed around, being taken away to do as others wanted me to. I didn't take root and fight this, just floated on and on and on.
I was dragged to help create my parents silly video and then I didn't resist being taken downstairs to entertain Angus who once again came round for no particular reason before just floating off to play LAN with Ian.
All through that I neglected the important things, those that really matter. I refused to do what I wanted to do, what I should have done. I didn't make a stand for the things that mattered; work, friends & Evelyn.
The things I cared about got stuck at the bottom of the pile because I was too weak to stand up to the forces of the family. I am terrified of revision, for if I cannot put my foot down for something as important as finishing coursework, what chance do I have of getting any decent revision done.
But the meta-image isn't the worst. I am filled with remorse at neglecting people.
College lasts for 2 years, uni 4; but the bonds I make here with, as much as I may tease them otherwise, brilliant people will last a lifetime.
Unless my weakness drives them all away.
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